I remember I was thirteen then. My head was down low and my clammy hand was clasped with my mom's as we entered the Cultural Center of the Philippines. We were going to enroll in a ballet class. Palms sweaty, feeling like a dot in such a big place, I thought my first class would be pure misery . But it was quite the contrary. I stepped into CCP and immediately I knew that it was the place I would enjoy immensely. It was,vibrant, interesting,... and to me intoxicating.! I felt alive just seeing the weirdest of the weird whizz by me. And for a moment there I just felt like my life was going to be special. Its safe to say that that I've made a home out of the CCP. I spent my childhood sneaking inside the Main theatre to catch a glimpse companies preparing for their shows. To me (who never really felt at home in a park), it felt like a big playground. I even have memories of playing hide and seek in the upper floor galleries. Instead of hiding under tables we hid behind beautiful artworks . Eventually I gave up on the games but I never stopped loving the place because to me it represented a world where everyone and everything was special.
A few decades after, I'm no longer the naive little girl who thought being immersed in art would be rainbows and butterflies . I realized that it always came with a price and that every step towards it would be a defining turning point. At this point in my life, its a constant choice to either embrace it or to ignore it. For now, my will cannot refuse the theater . Its getting harder and harder to say yes. But Im hoping this blog helps me realize why I should never ever let go .
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