Dear Berry,
You’re getting bigger and bigger by the day.
And though I want to keep you as close as possible, I know that one day, you
won’t be my little girl anymore. My baby girl, adulthood is tough but it can
also be beautiful. I want you to embrace everything beautiful .That’s why I’d
like to give you a gift. I would like to write you letters . I will write to
you because I want you to remember how good a person you
are. I want you to remember how much of a blessing you were to me and your
father. I want you to remember the good times. Life will sometimes make you think
that you’re not good enough I hope the letters will ground you and remind you
that you were always more than enough.
It’s August 24, 2013 and I just got home from a performance of Alice and Wonderland. I was the butterfly. You came to watch me with your cousins Mishie and Gaby accompanied by Nanny Rose, Yaya Car and Tito Cesar. Today my dearest child, you surprised me. I don’t know what good I’ve done in my life to deserve so much love from you. Either I’ve done something positive with my life or God is waking me up to say “do something good because I’ve given you something beyond great”. I saw you in the audience today jumping up and down waving at me. I felt your eyes on me. I saw you clapping for me. Though I did not hear your soft voice screaming Bravo, both nanny Rose and Tito Cesar swore you were telling the truth. I believe them. I was far from good today Berry but I did remember enjoying every bit of my performance. But after the show you rushed to hug me and said….”You were amazing mom! You are so beautiful.” Any distaste or dissatisfaction I may have had about today I let go instantly. It brings tears to my eyes remembering you say these words. You don’t know how much it means to me to have someone so dear to me support me and love me MORE because of my art. An audience complimenting me brightens up my day instantly . My child expressing adoration in a million different ways brightens up my life. Last week after my first show you said to me, “Mom, you’re pretty special. Other moms are like teachers, doctors etc but you…. You get to be a beautiful butterfly”. Thank you Berry for making me feel that what I do is special.
You are such a sweet child Berry. I say that
not only because you were appreciative of
me but because you always take things a step further. Today before going
home, you said to me “ Mom, I’m sorry I
forgot to bring flowers for you I’ll make something for you when we get home”.
You were actually ashamed. It was so overwhelming for me to see that you felt I
deserved more. I've heard kids promise
things to their moms, but you actually did make something for me. I heard you
crying in the kitchen because you couldn't make me cookies. Nanny told us there weren't enough ingredients for you to bake for me. I told you to make me glass of juice instead because I was so thirsty.
You wiped your tears and made me my juice. If you only knew what your
little gifts and gestures mean to me. They are worth fields and fields of
flowers my love. They to me are irrevocable, immortal memories that I will
cherish for the rest of my life. You've given me moments to look back at when
my days are gray. Thank you Berry for loving mommy so much. I can only hope
then when you grow up, you continue to love me and care for me the same way.
But if you don’t I won’t have a reason to complain because at four ’you've given
me more than enough joy to last a lifetime.
I love you Berry with all my heart. Thank
you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you . You to me are the real butterfly. You are living proof that each day can change you and make you even more precious than before.
Love,
Mommy
